In this fast-moving modern society, more
and more people are focusing on their own works, being indifferent to what
others do, and eventually, becoming individualistic. The measure of this
phenomenon has become so severe that it is even shown in terms of social
problems, such as NIMBY phenomenon, and influencing our society very
negatively. Concerning this current status quo, it is undeniable that there are
a number of distinct customs that represent Korea, I personally believe that
Korea’s ‘Jung’ custom, the intimate affection between people, is the one that
is worthy enough to be respected most, and most appropriate to introduce to
other countries. There are mainly two following ways that ‘Jung’ gives
advantages to our society: mutual help between people and solidarity.
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To start with, ‘Jung’ custom, by which
people tend to help each other and be sympathetic to other people’s
difficulties, is truly advantages to our society. As a matter of fact, helping
others was conventional action that was frequently shown in our history.
Gyeongju Choi’s family is representative case that reveals how Koreans have
performed good deeds to others for a long time. Following the motto, ‘Concealed
properties always rot’, the family donated huge amount of foods and money that
they had whenever lives of the public became arduous, which helped a large
number of people to endure and sustain their lives. Even though long time has
passed after the family disappeared, the mercy and the good deeds that the family
showed are still respected nowadays, and regarded as the optimal model that the
rich should follow. Like this, Koreans traditionally kept ‘Jung’ custom by
helping each other and going altogether, which benefited overall society rather
than being partial.
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In addition, ‘Jung’ custom usually leads to
unification among social members. Generally, when people stay on
individualistic attitude without caring others, they are subject to be
disintegrated and make discord even if they face urgent situations. On the
contrary, when respecting and understanding others become customary throughout
the society based on ‘Jung’ custom, there is much more high possibility that people
cooperate, and each member put lots of effort on finding rational solutions for
the total community. To be more illustrative, during 2002 Korea Japan World
Cup, Koreans showed dynamic cheering culture, which had not been emerged in
former World Cups. Thousands of Koreans gathered on squares in front of huge
screens broadcasting soccer matches, and they all shouted for team Korea’s
victory, calling themselves ‘Red Devils’. Thanks to the enthusiastic support of
people, team Korea was able to be placed on the fourth, first time ever among
Asian countries. From this example, I apparently learned that ‘Jung’ custom is
the fundamental factor for solidarity of the public, and it ultimately leads to
significant improvement of the society in long term.
As aforementioned, ‘Jung’ custom of Korea
contributes to not only close mutual interaction between people, but also to
unification of the society. In this society in which people are getting more
and more cynical and self-minded, I strongly insist that ‘Jung’ custom
definitely can be one of the most efficient methods to achieve better future.
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Nice Essay~ It was a pleasure reading it.
Your idea of using "Jung" as a tradition was fresh~ You've linked other social trends to one tradition and explained how they interact with each other. ^^ I think it's important to relate things such as social issues on an essay.
Now the things that you need to improve on is your elaboration. The quesion that raised in my mind when I read your essay is this. 'So how do we accomplish the Jung tradition?' You've explained how Jung is important and essential for the global society. But when foreigners read this essay it is possible that they get confused. So how is the Jung Tradition done? If you've explained this part your essay would improve~ ^^
It was nice reading your essay~ ^^
From your classmate, Hosung Kim
Thank you for pointing out important part that I missed.^^ I never thought about the method to encourage the Jung tradition, so I was truly appreciated by your fresh idea.:)
Hello! This is Jade, a.k.a. Kwan Yu-Ji
Well, I think it would have been better if your first body paragrapgh was more focused! U just said, as a signpost in the beginning, that it is advantageous to or society, but i think it would have been much more clear if you narrowed that idea. Moreover, your next reason is somewhat contained inside the first reason, which is too broad, in my opinion.
Well thank you for your essay and I appreciate your efforts. C.U.!
Well first of all, I do believe that this essay is in overall, in good shape and quality-in the aspect of demonstration. Although the concept 'jung' is quite an abstract one, your illustration have succeeded in introducing it.
But I also believe that there were also some points that you could have enhanced-though this is ultimately my personal opinion-I do believe that jung and mutual spirit( or unification) are two different things, so if there was a more clarified definition of jung, it would have been much better.
Anyway, I do believe that the topic and the essay itself is brilliant:)
fairly solid response to the prompt, thank you. However, you should define the term Jung more specifically in your introduction, as you would need to assume that not all your readers are familiar with the term
Jung is a good topic to use I guess
Your statements are fine and well organized
but still one thing I'm curious about is that
something like Jung could exist in other cultures.
Which means that there can be no need to spread it.
Just my opinion
You truly have a good essay